


You go, live.

by Kobuntan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood, Character Death, Death, Drama, F/M, Injury, Loss, My dear Commander, Pain, Romance, Spread the Erwin love, Suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 04:36:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7830571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kobuntan/pseuds/Kobuntan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“When the sun has set, no candle can replace it.”<br/>― George R.R. Martin</p>
            </blockquote>





	You go, live.

She was running blind through starless darkness of white fog, trying to find someone, anyone. The sun was hidden behind clouds in the bleak skies. Her breathing was laboured, and on many occasions she looked as if she was going to drop. The milky veil was uncovering an unpleasant sight of decomposing bodies covered with dirt and dried blood. Flies buzzed unmercifully around the decomposing flesh and fed on the open wounds. The smell from the dead bodies was atrocious. She felt sick. Maggots crawled through the mottled and hanging skin, making the mounds of rotting flesh ripple with movement. She felt a swift lurch in her stomach. She swallowed hard, willing herself not to throw up. Sweat ran down her forehead and along the incline of her nose, dripping to the ground as she continued running.

Suddenly, she heard a loud scream. It was a man’s voice, she could tell. It was a deep voice. The young soldier couldn’t recognize it. Was it her fellow comrade? Was he dying? She took few steps closer to the noise she heard. She wondered in what kind of state she will find him. Missing a limb? Or two? Her heart began to beat rapidly in her chest. Looking closer, she tried to see something, anything. Taking another few steps closer she could see a figure lowering itself to the ground, as if trying to pick up something. It was too small for a titan, she started running again; towards the unknown person. Partway across the field, she stepped on something and her foot slipped out from under her. She yelped and collapsed to the ground. It haven’t rained for days, she wondered why the ground was so slippery. She looked down on her feet and moved it in a circling motion. When she realised it wasn't twisted, she sighed in relief and stood up. She absently wiped her hands on her clothes. Then it hit her. Looking on the ground, she spotted a crimson liquid under her, looking behind; she saw intestines ripped in half.

Looking at her clothes, she spotted blood, she gasped in horror and looked at her hands that were covered in thick dark sticky blood. She drew in a deep breath, ignoring the putrid smell of decaying flesh, and forced herself to make one step after another.

“Hey!” She yelled. Hoping her voice would reach the black blob that kept moving. For a moment it froze and its movements fastened.

She felt pain building up in her legs and chest. For how long has she been running? She wouldn’t dare to guess, she had to run, she had to continue. After all, there was always someone who survived. Just like now. She had hope, even if it was a small one. It kept her legs moving, it kept her from falling apart, from falling on the ground and accept the faith. Her legs slowed down but she kept walking, she was closer and closer with each passing minute.

The mist was no longer around her, the pile of bodies were perfectly visible, ripped, half rotten, intestines all over the place.

“You!” She tried again, this time she gathered all her strength.

It stood up, it looked like a human. A person! She sighed in relief.

“Help!” It was a man. “Help us!” He yelled back. She nodded, as if he could see her. The female soldier smiled with relief. When she finally made it towards them, she spotted the Commander lying on the ground with w hole of a size of her knuckle in his stomach. Her legs felt wobbly and she fell on the ground next to him. The male soldier kept pressing his jacket on the Commanders wound. Blood was soaking from the cloth, his hands were crimson red. The male soldier’s breath was heavy, his forehead covered with sweat, tears running down his cheeks. He was close to a breakdown.

“Let me.” She tried to sound as calm as she could at the moment. She had to, for both of them. Even for Erwin, if he could still hear them. She took off her jacket and replaced it with the dirty one. The cloth immediately turned red with blood.

“I-is he?” His voice broke. He swallowed. She narrowed her eyes, dismissing that idea.

“No!” She growled at him, she looked back at Erwin and leaned closer. She lowered her ear close to his lips and waited for a moment. It was faint, but it was still there. His breath touched her skin and she smiled, a single tear building up in her eye. She blinked it away quickly.

“We need to move him.” She informed the young male soldier, he nodded and stood up.

“You’ll have to carry him. I’m not strong enough to do so, you hear me?” The man nodded, again. He squatted down and waited for the woman to put their Commander on his back.

The male soldier huffed in pain when the blonde’s weight hit his back. He stood up, his legs slightly wobbly.

“You okay?” She asked, looking at him.

“I’ll manage!” 

 

* * *

 

She was sitting on the roof, holding him close to her.  “I can’t let you die.” Her voice broke and she swallowed hard. “I just-”

Erwin reached over and took her hand into his. “It’s time for me to go.” He squeezed her hand and she let out a silent sob. Her head moving in disagreement.

“N-no!” She hissed. “You are so close.” Tears ran down her cheeks, the blueness of his eyes was slowly fading away. Erwin blinked slowly, caressing her hand with his thumb.

“Just hang in there for a little longer.” She leaned closer and hugged him ever so softly, carefully not to hurt him more. “You’re so close…” she murmured into his ear. Convincing him.

“I wouldn’t make it. You saw my wound…” He told her. Yes, she saw it, his blood was seeping through her jacket. She squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to believe his words. She kept telling herself it’s a lie. This is all a lie. It’s a dream. Yes. A bad dream she has to wake up from. Her heart clenched, pain searing through her chest at the thought of losing him.

“You have to let-” Her stomach clenched, and a sob ripped from her throat, the pain the enormous pain she felt in her chest. “No!” She cried. “I don’t want to! I’m not ready. I’ll never be.” An unbearable pain clenched his heart, as his irrepressible tears began to fall. He didn’t want to leave, not yet. He had still things to do; he had so many things planned out for the future. Not to mention the basement! He was so close, he could almost feel it. His fingers itched, itched in pain. Erwin clenched them into a fist and a heavy sigh left his lips.

“I was selfish enough.” She looked into his face and her heart clenched at the pain and suffering she saw reflected there. His hand moved to her cheek. “You go, live. Search the basement, go through everything. You still have few people behind you.” He smiled and coughed. She placed her hand on his and blinked as tears kept running down. “When it’s all over, come to me. Sit next to me and tell me everything. I will be there, I will listen.” She leaned her forehead against his and closed her eyes, both of them knew it was time. His hand was slowly losing its strength; leaving her cheek it hit the ground.  She squeezed her eye tight until she saw yellowish dots surrounded by blackness and hugged her beloved Commander for the last time.


End file.
